the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
