Whod you bang
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
