and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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