you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
