For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
