She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
