yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
my shit smells like andre
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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