Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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