This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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