I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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