nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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