OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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