You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
