Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
