fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
