I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
