I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
