Fuck appropriateness.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize