The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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