Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Hippo gnu deer
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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