I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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