i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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