Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
