Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
