There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
