I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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