gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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