Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
