I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
