Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
