i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
