He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
