Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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