I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
