He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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