Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
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