Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
