Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
