new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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