i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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