did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
