those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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