I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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