rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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