I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
