Where did you get a picture of my penis
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
