I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Randomize
