I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
