I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
