He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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