I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
