I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
