I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
