Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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