I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
