Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
