I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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