Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize