haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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