The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
