:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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