Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
