the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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