Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
