Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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