i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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