Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
