Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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