Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
